Bush Fulfills Promise: "No One Here Is Smarter Than I Am"

Kudos to W. for employing Dana Perino, who has admitted that she didn't know what the Cuban missile crisis was. The American people are sick and tired of pointy-headed burrycrats who ramble on about "facts" and "history" and other pointless crap that they slept through in sixth grade. Real men - and mildly hot spokesmodels - go with their gut, and their faith in Jesus that lets them see into the hearts of democratic heroes like Vladimir Putin.

In unrelated but equally important news, my dog has sprained his ass, evidently from wagging his tail too hard.