The 700 Billion Dollar Tube of Lipstick

Dick Morris (of all people) had me convinced last night for about an hour that John McCain's latest strategy is a masterstroke. Think about it: McCain suspends his campaign, rises above politics, returns to DC, works the phones and cracks some Republican heads about the need to accept limits on CEO compensation and an equity share for taxpayers. When the new, improved bailout package passes Friday morning, McCain gets to pose as the master dealmaker, the nonpartisan compromiser, the maverick who opposed his party's president to defend the common people. Every Republican (and Joe Lieberman) who steps up to the microphone will praise McCain for his "leadership." Meanwhile Obama twiddles his thumbs and gets ready to do what he does - talk. Then McCain shows up in Oxford on Friday night, looking (understandably) a little tired, with his sleeves still rolled up and his tie askew, because he's been doing the public's business.

Then my head cleared and the Morris-induced fog dissipated. What's wrong with this scenario? Even if some of the positive changes to the package get passed, taxpayers - voters - will still hate this insanely expensive bill (which might not work) and still blame Washington (and especially the Bush administration) for letting the collapse happen in the first place. McCain will look like he tried to use the crisis for political gain, and the Democrats can say that all he did was convince grudging Republicans to sign on to a Democrat-crafted bargain. And Obama scores points for multitasking.

What's the phrase I'm looking for - something about cosmetics and swine?